'Freedom' or Harinama?

I come from a family which had faith only on Sri Krsna and not on Radharani and I, myself, used to worship many demigods and demigoddesses. My son, who received the name Acintya Krsna dasa after his initiation, had brought me to receive Gurudeva's darsana.

Once, in an assembly of devotees, when I heard Gurudeva describe the principle truth of Srimati Radharani and of Sri Krsna, I understood Their glories. I decided that I would often hear harikatha from my son. But, I didn't have the inspiration to receive initiation into harinama mahamantra; I took onion, garlic and tea. I often heard some harikatha from my son, but I couldn't give up taking all these prohibited food items. On being requested by my son to get initiated into harinama mahamantra, I would think, 'How can I? I would be bound in regulations such as prohibition on many food items. Now I am free, if get initiated, I would be restricted.'

But, when Guru maharaj began the pastime of bestowing harinama and diksa-mantras upon fallen souls like myself, one day, I accidentally received his darsana as he came out of his room to bestow harinama, when I had visited to see the devotees in whose house he was staying. As I stood there, I instantly decided that I will take harinama from him and I will give up taking all the prohibited items.

As it is the custom for a female devotee to wear sari while receiving initiation and I didn't carry any with me, I dressed myself in the one I had borrowed from the devotees, in whose house Srila Maharaj stayed and sat down for receiving harinama initiation.

When Gurudeva bestowed the mahamantra in my ears, the hair on my body stood on end, tears began to flow from my eyes, I embraced my son and I paid my obeisances to all the devotees present there. Guru maharaj named me as Madhumati devi dasi.

From that day on, what to speak of taking those prohibited items, I never brought any of them in my home.

I pray to Gurudeva that he continues to bless us with his mercy.