I Still Feel He is With Me

Dandavat Pranam to Sri gurudev on his Vyas-puja mahotsav and his great disciples trying to follow his vani. I remember that gurudev used to say that we have many utsav in hindu religion but mahotsav are a few. Vaishanavas appearance and disappearance both days are equally important as they are reason to remember them. He said daily I wake-up and check our vaishnav panchang for vaishnav tithis and make sure, i dont miss any as not remembering vaishnavas on their tithi is considered as offence. On the same line I always get emails for vaishanav tithis from his great disciples thankfully a day before the tithi to read about them to save us from the offence. I didn't get more opportunity to have his sanga but I have seen him being very punctual always. I remember that when his katha timing was 6:30 pm, we were still cutting papers to put under bhajan-giti and he came at 6:35 while no listeners had come yet and asked us softly "sab ho gaya" (Is everything done?) and then he sat down on the chair. I became afraid and finished the work somehow. I remember once when gurudev came in katha we were doing Hare Krishna kirtan and playing kartal, as soon as he came I stood up leaving kirtan and kartal aside to offer him pranam after which he asked us to continue kirtan. After kirtan he told us hari-nama kirtan is more important than me or any other vaishnava so don't leave it and offer pranam bowing head only. In this way he explained us how much value he has given to nama-sankirtan and that it is very important for us to always follow his guideline and keep kirtan at first priority. I always remember gurudev's lotus feet in his red color socks kept on a pillow and the way he used to distribute prasad to each and every devotee from his hands no matter how much time it may take. I still feel he is with me, else I can not progress on the path of devotion. Gurudev, You yourself listened my prayers to have you as guru and arranged that I could come to take harinam from you. Now also you are listening my prayers and arranging vaishnav sanga for me in math and vrindavan, else I am nothing without you being on my side. I ask for your causeless mercy, punish me for my offenses and take me along to this spiritual path you have shown to us. Yours obediently, Devaki dasi