"He Showed his Mamata to Someone as New as Me"

He lovingly chastised me, directly. I remember it was the day of my Harinama initiation and we (Srila Guruji and all his sevakas) were in Gopinatha Gaudiya Matha in Vrindavan Dhama. After receiving my Harinama initiation and participating in the fire Yajna for my godbrothers' Diksa initiation, I was engaged in a few services in preparation for Gurudeva's move to Gopinatha Bhavana on the banks of the Yamuna and I was as a result a bit late for his evening Harikatha.

I weaved my way up towards the front of the large group of devotees in order to sit nearest to one of my closest friends and beloved Gurubhai, Acyuta Krsna Prabhu, as he had a radio and would have the English Translation available to share on his headphones. As I situated myself, I sat in a very tight spot with very little room around me to sit properly (at this time, as I was very new, I wasn't sure of how "sitting properly" looked) and so I had both my knees elevated with my elbows resting on my knees and my ankles crossed. As soon as I was settled I immediately trained my eyes on my Srila Gurupadapadma as I eagerly wanted to absorb all of the Harikatha that was soon to begin.

But, something wonderful happened at that moment that struck me straight to the core. Gurudeva, being omniscient and omnipotent, had been watching me out of the corner of his eye and saw my failure to properly follow Vaisnava etiquette in my sitting posture and he looked me dead in the eye and he waved his lotus hand while he shook his head in disapproval. I was a bit confused at his gesture, but of course everyone around me knew his mood and promptly corrected me and told me without delay, "Oh Prabhu, don't sit this way!" I was in awe, MY GURUDEVA HAD SEEN ME AND GAVE ME SOME DIRECT CHASTISEMENT!

I know it was such a simple and minor etiquette transgression, but the fact that he looked directly at me and gave me his mercy by showing a bit of his loving attachment (mamata) for such a new and low-class disciple such as myself, will be forever ingrained into my heart and soul. My unlimited fully prostrated Dandavat Pranams to his Lotus feet again and again, as well as to all that served him in some way or another.

All Glories to those who take his instructions to heart and shine forward that light of Visuddha Chaitanya Vani into this dark world.

Jaya Nitai! Jaya Gaura! Jaya Gurudeva!